Suna Paradise: Alcohol Is The Devil's Blood
by Chipmunk24797
Summary: Inspired by recent and possible future events, a Crack Pairing that I ship like crazy involved in an alcohol induced, roller-coaster love story.. Contains Yaoi, Shonen-ai, Sexual content, Jiraiya x Gaara, drunkenness and really awkward situations... hopefully it's better than this summary makes it out to be...


**Suna Paradise: Alcohol Is The Devil's Blood**

**Jiraiya x Gaara Shonen-ai**

**Prologue - A First**

"Hey, waitress~" the white-haired man called, "Would you be a dear and bring me some more sake?"

"Hehe of course, you are our best customer after all~" replied a curvy, rather busty young brunette, with a flirtatious giggle. _Just doing her job..._ the Sage thought to himself as he downed the last of his previous bottle of sake.

It was just another quiet night. Life hadn't seemed all that interesting in a while, and being 50-something didn't help, it was like there was so much left to do, but not enough time to do it. The Sannin knew he had to do at least one more insane thing, just one more, before he let himself slip into the category of old and useless. He supposed he already fit the first part, but useless? He was not! ...at least that's what he thought until he found his mind wondering about how close he is to his grave... You just never know these days. He'd turned down being Hokage, there was no way he'd get Tsunade after all these years, his books and a certain protégé were the only things he had going for him. Drowning in his thoughts, the albino didn't even notice the bar door swing open, revealing the next generation, party-goers.

"Oh hey Pervy Sage! What you doing here?" a familiar, cheeky blond half yelled as he bounded across the bar, after bursting in, drawing all attention to him and his friends.

Jiraiya groaned and sunk a little into his seat, "Naruto, what are YOU doing here..? Don't you know it's my night off.. The only time I get away from you, and I'd rather like some peace for once..." He did care a lot for that boy really, but he wasn't about to spill his heart to this kid, not for a while anyway.

If he had that long, that is...

"Well that's nice, old man!" Naruto retaliated, a sly grin slowly crawling over his face, "Figures you'd be in a bad mood... the ladies not falling for your 'charm' these days...? Heh heh..."

"Just beat it, kid, I'm doing research..." Jiraiya said with a slightly annoyed tone, catching a sneaky glimpse down the waitresses top as she bent to pour his sake.

With that, Naruto turned and strode off to the other side of the bar to where his companions, Shikamaru, Choji, Shino and Kiba, were waiting, at a lined corner booth.

Jiraiya sighed. _And so the party begins..._

It wasn't long before the Sand Siblings showed up. Greeted with a huge, half drunken, hug, they joined the 'party', Kankuro immediately sparking a conversation with Shino, Shikamaru almost instantly disappearing off with Temari, and of course Gaara awkwardly sitting beside the loud-mouth Naruto, very much disliking situations such as these.

Jiraiya noticed the redhead staring blankly at the cup placed before him. _Never did peg that kid as a drinker... _He finished his third bottle of the night, and decided to keep an eye on the youngsters, just in case things got out of hand. But all he saw so far was a few tipsy teenagers, all having a laugh.

...all but one...

The rest of the group were alive with aimless chatter, hiccups and clumsy spillages, while the youngest of the group finally sipped at his drink. It only took a few more cups before Gaara, too, was engaged in the light-hearted hugging and slurred, over the top compliments.

The Sage smirked, taking a sip from his, almost empty, fourth bottle. _Light weights..._

As the night progressed, it became a blur, like every other night. White hair no longer in its usual ponytail, robes a mess, a pounding in his head and the taste of another's tongue was the last thing said Sage could recall before everything faded completely to black.

* * *

_Ugh... What happened..? Where am I...?_

Gaara's pale blue eyes fluttered open, only to be harshly attacked by the bright morning sun.

He didn't remember going to bed. In fact, he didn't remember anything that happened after him and Naruto had climb on top of the table to sing 'I Will Survive' for the whole bar.

_Oh God... I was drunk wasn't I..? Argh... Damn you, Naruto..._

The redhead's eyes widened as he felt a toned arm draped across his lower back. is head was turned towards the window, so he hadn't noticed whoever it was before hand. So now it meant he'd have to turn to see who he'd ended up sleeping beside.

It was then that he realised he was completely naked.

_Please be someone I trust to keep quiet, please be someone I trust to keep quiet.._

Slowly, carefully, Gaara lifted his thumping head from the soft pillow and turned to gaze upon his first ever one night stand, after his first ever night out, and his first ever taste of alcohol, with his first ever hangover like a clamp, slowly crushing his head..

...

"Oh no..."

_**~To Be Continued~**_


End file.
